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So Here's What CrossFit Has Taught Me

I began exercising at CrossFit I-35 in February of 2013.  I took a month off in May and came back as a member in June.  First teaching moment.  So I've been "regularly" crossfitting for 3+ years.  I look pretty much the same as when I began.  Sure, I had some pregnancy weight shed when I initially began, but my body hasn't "transformed."  And I put "regularly" in quotes because I've taken extended periods of time off.  I'm talking upwards of 8-12 weeks at a time.  I've recognized this all as a part of my "process" and have begun to love myself through those times off.  I can't pinpoint the reason, but I know it's going to happen so I'm just going to allow myself that time to do whatever my body/head needs to do.  Good news is the breaks aren't lasting as long.  Progress in my process.  

Back to my "transformed" body.  Here's what CrossFit, and more specifically the trainers at my gym, CrossFit I-35, have taught me.  I know why I still look 3-4 months pregnant.  My son is 4.  Bottom line is calories.  Then comes nutrition, timing, etc.   But bottom line is I eat too much.  I consume too many calroies to  achieve the deficit gained from exercise that will result in body composition transformation.  Still.  I still eat/drink too many calories.   Part of my process...recognizing the use of food to cope with life.  Cynthia and Scott Lofquist have taught me that.  CrossFit has taught me that weight gain/loss is measurable.  I know when I eat my PROVIDED FOR ME meal plan with the correct number of calories to lose weight, and maintain my exercises from Scott that if I eat that meal plan for 12 weeks, hell even just 8 weeks, I will "transform."  What the hell is stopping me??  It's been 3 freaking years!!  It's all a part of my process.  CrossFit has taught me how to step back and love myself through this process.  I recognize my use of food and alcohol.  I am aware.  Progress in the process.  Believe me when I say, that self awareness was not there 3 years ago.  

My first teaching moment happened after I took a month off when I initially started at CrossFit I-35.  I came back to a horrid wod, I mean they're all horrid, but even Scott was like, way to pick a good one to come back to!  And I knew that not only because I had allowed my body to de-condition, I felt like shit because of all the crap I had been eating.   I was gonna vomit I was sure, knock on wood I haven't yet, and I knew it was because of the crap I had eaten the day before.  You know, like one last hurrah before I transform my life!  But then the transformation requires discipline and dedication to what I put in my mouth and so the one last hurrah never really is the last hurrah.  Time and time again I've come to a wod after a few days off, after a week off, after however much time off and eaten like I do and I feel like absolute doodie every time because I haven't learned the lesson yet.  I haven't learned that 1800 calories = transformation.  Am I not worth it?  Why do I feel I'm not worth it?  It's all a part of my process, I have to  work through the personal reasons that explain to me why I haven't learned from my teaching moments yet, but it's a process and I'm getting there  Every time I feel like crap after a wod I'll know it's because of what I chose to put in my mouth the day before.  

Calories and if you want a banging body, nutrition as well, is where it's at people.  That's one of the man things that CrossFit has taught me.  

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