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This is what my friend Wubba taught me. It's been a little over a year since his passing and with the turning of the seasons to porches, patios, BBQs...it's difficult.  Wubba was my first close friend to pass. I did not realize how much I leaned on that guy. It's been difficult.  I turned 35 in Februray and had a come to Jesus moment. Be authentic. Be relentless. It's difficult.  I'm so thankful for my dear friend. 

This is a screen shot of reviejanes insta. She's like 20 something, owns a gym and posts videos all the time. I've watched her achieve the goals she's set out to master in the gym, like rope climbs, and...well...just look at the pic.  Right??  www.reviejane.com.  Oh, and she's Australian. I know my body will look different cause we don't have the same DNA, but her body is motivating to me. That would be kickass!!  Will be!!  This pic was posted by Dr. Agocs. It reminds me of the mental checkout I get when I exercise. I'm so hyperfocused on how my body is moving that everything else in my mind is quiet.  I'm also reminded about a quote my coach Scott told me when my friend passed a little over a year ago now. He quoted Henry Rollins, "200 pounds is always 200 pounds."  I can count on the bar.  This is a screenshot of Dr. Israetel's facebook. He posted this around the time I started trying to convince myself to skip workout number three this past...

http://youtu.be/IJZpz5C1dAA This is what CrossFit does to your brain. This movement, toes to bar, was programmed this morning in our WOD. So, of course, now, at 9p, I have finally sat down and rested my body...since 745p or so when my son went to bed, so about and hour and fifteen minutes.  People, I am sooooooooore.   Which means, yay I made my workout this morning.  Woop woop!  Which also means since I have turned on my CrossFit brain that I'm youtubing movement videos at 9p. I was trying to help some peeps this morning by telling them to pull the bar apart, which will turn on your lats.  I'm not certified (yet) so I didn't press the issue when my instructions didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense (at 545a).  This video is great. If we nail knees to elbows by putting our body in that rocking motion (scapular pull up -turning the lats on) all we have to do is kick the bar. Right?  Easy as that. (they say. It'll be fun they say).  Pass the Deep...

Like...when I lose a significant amount of weight. 

is the big day!!  Everyone starts tomorrow, right?  Well, my tomorrow is tomorrow. I'm shooting for Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 530am WODs and Saturday 8a bells. I've just employed my husband to manage my snooze fests in the AM by giving him partial responsibility of kicking me out of bed. My sheets just tie this really tight knot around my ankles and I just can't get out of bed in the mornings. See what I did there??  I deflected my lack of consistency with my humor - ha. hahahahahaha.  So tomorrow is my Monday and my alarm is set. 

I've recently been trying to figure out why I consistently sabotage myself.  For example, two weeks ago I went to the gym three times that week; I was shooting for four times, so I missed that goal. So this past week I don't go at all -it's all in my mind -am I punishing my future self because I'm afraid?  Afraid of what?  My goal for this next challenge at my gym, the CrossFit I-35 Spring/Summer weight loss challenge is to go four times a week. Am I afraid of what I potentially could look like?  Am I afraid of how strong I'll be? Am I afraid of how different my life will be??  Maybe I'm not ready for the change...I don't know.   The goal is four times a week and I'm going to solely focus on getting there Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.