Skip to main content

Cousin Meredith Finally Showed Up

So I went ahead and took several weeks off from the gym.  The gains I made during my 8 week 4x/week run have disappeared.  Replaced with new stretch marks, horrible self-talk, depression, lethargy and an overwhelming desire to sleep all the time.

I sporadically heard from fellow gym goers during my time off and as of recently have heard from several in a more urgent manner.  Like, get your ass to the gym already.  So I went this past week.  My inital goal was 5x/week, but as I'm learning, goals for me are constantly being revised. Read, I went Wednesday.  One morning.  I was even up on time this morning and yesterday morning.  That's how loud these ugly voices are inside my head.  I once again chose to sleep.  I went to my son's room and had that whole tiny bed to myself (he snuck into our bed during the night) and it was dark; I turned that box fan on and was out.  One and a half, can be stretched to 2 more hours if I cut out doing my hair, of sleep was more important to me.  Ugh.  That sucks typing it out.  I'm in a spot y'all.

I seem to cycle through consistent training and completely no training.  I get to feeling crappy enough when I chose not to train that I get myself back going.  Usually with the help of my peeps.  I enlisted my Wednesday morning coach this past week and his goodbye statement to me was "see you tomorrow.  Note:  that's a statement, not a question."  So I got my lazy ass up.  And I felt like that one cousin that has skipped out on all of the family events lately, and finally decides to show up.  Everyone said hello, I got hugs, I got I missed yous, I got you wanna lift with me, I got cheers.  I even laid around on the floor more than anyone and they still wanted me there.

This is the beauty of CrossFit I-35.  You are allowed to go through funks.  You're allowed the time and space you need to learn how you are as an athlete. To learn that you're an athlete at all.  You're allowed to scale when you finally come back and everyone cheers you on when you're dying through those final reps.  You're always treated like the cousin that finally came back.  And for the record, I didn't do so bad during my wod.  My triceps are sore as hell right now, but I wasn't completely dying.  So that's an improvement in my book.

I'm thankful to CrossFit I-35 for always being the family that loves seeing you, whenever we see you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How Do You Identify?

I've been going to my CrossFit gym for five years now.  Yes, I've dropped a few pound; yes, I'm stronger; but could you tell I crossfit by looking at me?  Probably not.  My transformation thus far has all been mental.  I have and continue to find encouragement in what my body can do rather than what the scale says.  I've learned functional ways to move my body to support my reconstructed knee.  I've learned to shut my mind up and just move.  Just recently I've been able to push myself when my legs are shaking and I can't hardly take a deep breath to finish the workout rather than stop and lay on the floor.  "Keep moving!"  I can hear Coach Rachel encouraging me.  "One rep at a time! Vamos!"  I can hear Zulma tell me. I've also recently begun to allow myself to move at a slower pace and complete the entire workout instead of scaling reps to keep up with everyone else.  I am no longer concerned about what anyone else is thinkin...

Here's an Interesting Thought

I recently got my 4 year tag from CrossFit I-35.  I've been a member for 4 years and weigh 40 pounds less than when I started.  Most, if not all, of that was baby weight as I began shortly after I had delivered my son. I've lost the same 10-15 pounds since the initial loss and I had an interesting thought about that tonight. What if I'm afraid of fit healthy crossfitter Meredith??  See, I take progress photos.  I've seen the awesome gains I make and then I FREAK.  And avoid the gym for days, weeks, months.  It's like I see how hot I could be and I start eating.  As I'm eating I'm fantasizing about seeing my muscles and wearing jeans and a bikini.  Longing for comfort in my own skin.  Yet the moment I start to get a glimpse towards that, I go backwards.   What is up with that??  Afraid of my own success?