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I Used to Want Collar Bones

I was looking in the mirror the other day and noticing my developing traps.  My shoulders are also growing, and if I flex just right I can see some baby traps.  I remember thinking back to when I was losing weight for my wedding.  Just typing that sentence proves this blogs point; it's not about losing weight for an event or seeing a particular bone.  I wanted so desperately to be able to see my collar bones.  That somehow if I could see them I had lost enough weight to be satisfied.  Kinda like the thigh gap.  Lord knows that's never happening with these tree trunks, but eww anyways.  Yet so many people strive for it.  I saw it just the other day on my pinterest.  It makes me sad.  Why do our bodies need to look a certain way to be satisfied??

As I stood in the mirror, I had to laugh at myself and give thanks to the Lofquists.  Here's what they've taught me so far about my body.  It's not about what bones I can see or how big the gap between my thighs is, it's about what my body can do.  It's about being able to deadlift 315 pounds.  Which translates into being able to help others when they need a moving crew, or to pick up my sons 50 million toys off the floor.  It's about what my body can do.  I remember griping about being the last athlete introduced at a weight lifting competition I did.  I'm always last because I'm the heaviest.  My coach said, who cares - you'll always be a 75k+ athlete - who cares.  You're going to go out there and put 100+ pounds over your head.  That's what matters.  Lock your elbows out, armpits forward, active shoulders.  That's what I should care about.  That's what we all should care about.  What are bodies can do.   They showed me videos of Tatyana Kashirina and told me to stop focusing on my weight class and on what my body can do.



This is what CrossFit means to me.  I'm not a firebreathing "crossfit" athlete.  I'm a 75K+ mom, doing some awesome things with my body.  Maybe one day I'll get to that 419pound clean and jerk.

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