Skip to main content

Mind F*^#!

At the beginning of March, a new group of athletes came into the gym to get started with their Introduction to CrossFit.  I helped out with checking them in and getting pictures and chit chatting.  I then sat down with them and listened again to the basics of CrossFit and what CrossFit I35 is about.  And then I did the workout with them.  Something that day clicked and I got motivated to finally do what I had been saying I was going to try to do for a long time.  I started going to the gym 4-5x/week.  I'll post some comparison pictures later.  So starting tomorrow I will begin my 12th week.  Awesome, right??  I'm down 2 pounds.  TWO.  Complete mind f*&^!  I can comfortably fit into a size smaller pants, I'm comfortable in my one piece, my tops feel a bit bigger, and I can tell when I decide to sleep in instead of go to the gym.  I kind of come unraveled.  Picking up heavy things and putting them back down is such a stress reliever.  Especially when you think you can't lift it and you do.  

I was sharing this story with a coworker of mine and had taken three days off from the gym at that time.  I'm still grieving the senseless loss of a friend and sleep seemed to be my coping mechanism this time.  I finally got back to the gym on the 4th day and hit a heavy deadlift for three reps.  Prior to me getting myself to the gym and finally just showing up, I easily would have taken a week or two off.  And when I'm not exercising I eat all the crap.  

This is how it's all a mind f*&%!  Yay, for getting back to the gym sooner, boo for two pounds, yay for two pounds.  Yay for a new pair of jeans that fit.  Boo to that scale reading the same damn three numbers.  Throw those scales away.  No one needs to suffer this mental torment.  It sucks.  And derails me.  But keep the scale for data purposes...ahhhhh, it's a mind f*&^!

So what do we do.  We realize that we are still awesome people who are still going to get up and get those workouts and do the food prep and make better choices eating out and fitness is fun and that the scale is a tool to measure progress, not the deciding factor in how our day or fitness momentum is going to go. 

Pictures to come.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Do You Identify?

I've been going to my CrossFit gym for five years now.  Yes, I've dropped a few pound; yes, I'm stronger; but could you tell I crossfit by looking at me?  Probably not.  My transformation thus far has all been mental.  I have and continue to find encouragement in what my body can do rather than what the scale says.  I've learned functional ways to move my body to support my reconstructed knee.  I've learned to shut my mind up and just move.  Just recently I've been able to push myself when my legs are shaking and I can't hardly take a deep breath to finish the workout rather than stop and lay on the floor.  "Keep moving!"  I can hear Coach Rachel encouraging me.  "One rep at a time! Vamos!"  I can hear Zulma tell me. I've also recently begun to allow myself to move at a slower pace and complete the entire workout instead of scaling reps to keep up with everyone else.  I am no longer concerned about what anyone else is thinkin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Cousin Meredith Finally Showed Up

So I went ahead and took several weeks off from the gym.  The gains I made during my 8 week 4x/week run have disappeared.  Replaced with new stretch marks, horrible self-talk, depression, lethargy and an overwhelming desire to sleep all the time. I sporadically heard from fellow gym goers during my time off and as of recently have heard from several in a more urgent manner.  Like, get your ass to the gym already.  So I went this past week.  My inital goal was 5x/week, but as I'm learning, goals for me are constantly being revised. Read, I went Wednesday.  One morning.  I was even up on time this morning and yesterday morning.  That's how loud these ugly voices are inside my head.  I once again chose to sleep.  I went to my son's room and had that whole tiny bed to myself (he snuck into our bed during the night) and it was dark; I turned that box fan on and was out.  One and a half, can be stretched to 2 more hours if I cut out doi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Here's an Interesting Thought

I recently got my 4 year tag from CrossFit I-35.  I've been a member for 4 years and weigh 40 pounds less than when I started.  Most, if not all, of that was baby weight as I began shortly after I had delivered my son. I've lost the same 10-15 pounds since the initial loss and I had an interesting thought about that tonight. What if I'm afraid of fit healthy crossfitter Meredith??  See, I take progress photos.  I've seen the awesome gains I make and then I FREAK.  And avoid the gym for days, weeks, months.  It's like I see how hot I could be and I start eating.  As I'm eating I'm fantasizing about seeing my muscles and wearing jeans and a bikini.  Longing for comfort in my own skin.  Yet the moment I start to get a glimpse towards that, I go backwards.   What is up with that??  Afraid of my own success?
Post a Comment
Read more