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218.2

That's what the scale said when I stepped on this morning.  I've gotten out of the habit of weighing regularly because it just does my brain no good.  I become very mean to myself and ruin my whole day most of the time.  So I've only been getting on periodically and it felt stuck at 223.  It would not budge.  Then I got on this morning...and got on again...and one more time just to be sure, 218.2.  WOO HOOOOOO!!!!!


I had two different conversations with friends at the gym this week.  One went something like, no way, you don't weigh that...you carry it really well.  And the other went something like, nutrition is where it's at, but food punctuates my life.  I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm depressed, when I'm excited, when I'm celebrating, when I'm grieving...and both of these conversations have stuck with me.


Food does punctuate life, and I'm starting to learn that's okay.  There's no way I'm stopping society norms of cake for birthdays, and tamales for Christmas and shots for girls night out...that train is moving way too fast and I just hate life when I try to stop it.  I'm not of the restrict yourself mentality anymore.  It just doesn't work for me.  My brain goes crazy thinking about those things I've restricted and I eat/drink like it's going out of style.  So yes, let food punctuate life.  I've just gotta be smart about it.  Be aware.  Be present when I'm shoving food in my pie hole.  I know what I should do, but life doesn't always play along, so I just need to be smart.  I know I need protein, complex carbohydrate and fat every time I eat.  So instead of getting a cheeseburger, I'll get a salad.  Or instead of a diet coke, again, I'll get an unsweetened tea.  218 people.  Loving myself through these every day choices is working.  

And, I made it to the gym 4 times this week.  That's right, 4 times!!  I PRed my 5 rep max front squat at 140#, I did 52 burpees in one workout, I RXed Grace in 5:38 - who cares what that scale says because my body is carrying it well.  My body is doing things that I need to proud of...regardless of that damn number.  


So I'll continue to carry it well, I'll continue to weigh every so often (as one of my goals is weight loss) and I'll keep showing up at the gym.  Eat smarter, move more often.  As Coach Cynthia always says, it's a process.    

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